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<<set $header = 0>>\
<div style="text-align: center;">\
<p class="double">\
<br>CRYPT SHYFTER
CRIMSON WINGS<br>
by kung fu space barbarian<br>
</p>\
[[Start|CharCreater]]
</div>\
<<set $hp = 10>>\
<<set $sexy = 0>>\
<<set $magic = 0>>\
<<set $sneaky = 0>>\
<<set $beefy = 0>>\
<<set $gold = 15>>\
<<set $pizza = 2>>\
<<set $inventory= []>>\
<<set $inventory.push("Empty")>>\
<<set $header = 1>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\
Are you a dude or a chick?<br>
[[Dude|dude]]
[[Chick|chick]]
</div>\<<set $beefy += 1>>\
<div style="text-align: center;">\
READY PLAYER ONE.<br>
[[Continue|ds]]
</div>\<<set $sneaky += 1>>\
<div style="text-align: center;">\
READY PLAYER ONE.<br>
[[Continue|ds]]
</div>\<<set $barbname = "BARBARIAN CHICK">>\
<<set $boygirl = "boy">>\
<div style="text-align: center;">\
Which best describes you?<br>
[[Beefy|Beefy]]
[[Sneaky|Sneaky]]
[[Magical|Magical]]
</div>\<<set $barbname = "BARBARIAN DUDE">>\
<<set $boygirl = "girl">>\
<div style="text-align: center;">\
Which best describes you?<br>
[[Beefy|Beefy]]
[[Sneaky|Sneaky]]
[[Magical|Magical]]
</div>\It is a normal day at the palace. You are sitting on your throne, listening to the woes of the peasants and passing down judgment on the criminals. Suddenly, your most loyal honor guard, Clacktor, leaps from his position at your side and begins slaughtering nearby guards and peasants!<br>
[[Aw, not my custom shag carpet! You got brains all over it...|rollfhg]]
[[Clacktor! Stop being a jerk and get back to your post!|rollfhg]]HP: $hp
Gold: $gold
Pizza: $pizza<br>
<u>Inventory</u>
<<print $inventory.join("\n")>>\<<set $magic += 1>>\
<div style="text-align: center;">\
READY PLAYER ONE.<br>
[[Continue|ds]]
</div>\Roll a 10 or higher to stop him!<br>
[[ROLL]]<<set $inventory.push("Clacktor's skull")>>\
<<set $inventory.delete("Empty")>>\
<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\
<<if $roll gte 10>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
You attempt to subdue Clacktor, but he seems like a man possessed. He fights like a caged lion, slaughtering all in his path. You are forced to kill him by ripping his head off and beating him to death with his own skull.<br>
[[Continue|cutelrjry]]
<<else>>\
<<set $hp -= 2>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
You attempt to subdue Clacktor, but he seems like a man possessed. He fights like a caged lion, slaughtering all in his path and stabbing you with his sword. -2 HP. You are forced to kill him by ripping his head off and beating him to death with his own skull.<br>
[[Continue|cutelrjry]]
<</if>>\<<set $inventory.push("Empty")>>\
<<set $inventory.delete("Clacktor's skull")>>\
You gaze around at the carnage, taking in the stunned looks on the faces of the peasants and your surviving guards.<br>
[[What in the name of Shergblatt's hairy buttcrack just happened!?|What the name of Shergblatt's hairy buttcrack just happened!?]]
[[I've known Clacktor for years... what evil could possess him to do such a thing?]]GUARD:
I don't know what came over him, sire. He was fine at dinner this evening. He ate the normal amount of mashed potatoes and made sure to fart extra loud when he was finished. I never would have expected him to go crazy and start killing everyone in the palace.<br>
[[Continue|exhaoushr]]GUARD:
I don't know what came over him, sire. He was fine at dinner this evening. He ate the normal amount of mashed potatoes and made sure to fart extra loud when he was finished. I never would have expected him to go crazy and start killing everyone in the palace.<br>
[[Continue|exhaoushr]]You order Clacktor's body to be dragged out of the Great Hall and have it examined by the court wizards. You are completely exhausted. It has been a long day. You'll need to find a way to relax and clear your head.<br>
[[Go to the hot springs]]
[[Get some exercise at the training grounds]]
<<if $pizza gte 1>>\
[[Eat pizza (restore HP)|Eat pizza]]
<</if>>\You head to the hot springs and are soon soaking in a nice steamy bath. You sink under the water, allowing the heat to wash away the woes of your day.<br>
[[Continue|woesfoj]]You make your way to the practice fields, where you hope to forget about the troubles of the day by pushing yourself to your physical limits. What do you want to practice tonight?<br>
[[Sword fighting]]
[[Casting spells]]<<if visited("dude")>>\
You are just about to climb out of the hot spring when a beautiful barbarian chick arrives and slides into the water beside you.<br>
[[I don't think I've seen you around here before.]]
[[Wanna see my muscles?]]
<<else>>\
You are just about to climb out of the hot spring when a hunky barbarian dude arrives and slides into the water beside you.<br>
[[I don't think I've seen you around here before.]]
[[Wanna see my muscles?]]
<</if>>\$barbname:
I spend most of my time hunting.<br>
[[What do you hunt?]]
[[Cool! We should totally date each other!]]<<if visited("dude")>>\
She seems to be very impressed by your beefy muscles.<br>
[[Continue|yafucked]]
<<else>>\
He seems to be very impressed by your toned muscles.<br>
[[Continue|yafucked]]
<</if>>\$barbname:
Fools.<br>
[[Continue|yafucked]]<<if visited("dude")>>\
She seems to be very impressed by your beefy muscles.<br>
[[Continue|yafucked]]
<<else>>\
He seems to be very impressed by your toned muscles.<br>
[[Continue|yafucked]]
<</if>>\<<if visited("dude")>>\
Suddenly her eyes turn jet black. She transforms into a savage and begins to claw at your throat! If you don't do something now she's going to kill you. Roll an 11 or higher to defend yourself.<br>
[[ROLL|defende]]
<<else>>\
Suddenly his eyes turn jet black. He transforms into a savage and begins to claw at your throat! If you don't do something now he's going to kill you. Roll an 11 or higher to defend yourself.<br>
[[ROLL|defende]]
<</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\
<<if $roll gte 11>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
As much as you hate to destroy such a pretty face, you grab the crazed barbarian's hair smash the monster's skull repeatedly into the stone edge of the jacuzzi. Chunks of bone and brains splatter all over the sauna area.<br>
[[Continue|neltjk]]
<<else>>\
<<set $hp -= 2>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
Your windpipe is almost crushed before you're able to react! -2 HP. As much as you hate to destroy such a pretty face, you grab the crazed barbarian's hair smash the monster's skull repeatedly into the stone edge of the jacuzzi. Chunks of bone and brains splatter all over the sauna area.<br>
[[Continue|neltjk]]
<</if>>\You inform the court wizards of the new body and return to your room. Just before you head inside you catch sight of a dark-robed figure walking quickly down the street.<br>
[[Go to bed]]
[[Follow the mysterious person]]
<<if $pizza gte 1>>\
[[Eat pizza]]
<</if>>\You inform the court wizards of the new body and return to your room. Just before you head inside you catch sight of a dark-robed figure walking quickly down the street.<br>
[[Go to bed]]
[[Follow the mysterious person]]
<<if $pizza gte 1>>\
[[Eat pizza]]
<</if>>\You leap out of the hot tub and shove the lifeless corpse beneath the boiling water.<br>
[[What the devil is going on today?]]
[[Has everyone in my village gone mad?]]You enter your chambers and go to bed. Your sleep is interrupted by several haunting dreams, and you are grateful when the sun returns the next morning.<br>
[[Continue|greathall]]You stealthily follow the stranger. He leads you into the village's innermost courtyard. You remain hidden behind one of the nearby huts, watching as the stranger chants the words of a magic spell. The fountain in the center of the village suddenly stops spewing water and a secret passageway beneath is revealed!<br>
[[Continue|intotheh]]The dark figure looks around to make sure no one is watching before descending the staircase. The passageway slowly begins to seal. Quick! What will you do?<br>
[[Rush inside the secret passageway]]
[[Go to bed- it's been a long day]]
<<if $pizza gte 1>>\
[[Eat pizza]]
<</if>>\Roll an 8 or higher to get inside before it closes.<br>
[[ROLL|sneakyfhh]]You return to your chambers and go to bed. Your sleep is interrupted by several haunting dreams, and you are grateful when the sun returns the next morning.<br>
[[Continue|greathall]]<<set $inventory.delete("Empty")>>\
<<set $inventory.push("Sword")>>\
You pick up your sword and call out to Minx, who is training alone nearby. She is a stalwart warrior and a good friend. The two of you have been training together since you were both children, and you have helped each other improve immensely over the years. You are sure tonight will be no different.<br>
[[Continue|traingh]]<<set $inventory.delete("Empty")>>\
<<set $inventory.push("Juju stick")>>\
You pick up your trusty juju stick and call out to Minx, who is training alone nearby. She is a clever mage and a good friend. The two of you have been training together since you were both children, and you have helped each other improve immensely over the years. You are sure tonight will be no different.<br>
[[Continue|trainggh]]Roll a 10 or higher to improve your sword skills!<br>
[[ROLL|sworldkd]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\
<<if $roll gte 10>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
The two of you dance across the practice field, smashing your wooden swords together and improving your fancy footwork. Great job! +1 beefiness.<br>
[[Continue|aftertrianf]]
<<set $beefy += 1>>\
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
You can't seem to shake the off the troubles of the day. Clacktor was a good soldier, and seeing those people killed in the middle of your Great Hall has put a heavy strain on your mind. This practice session was a waste of time.<br>
[[Continue|aftertrianf]]
<</if>>\You sit down for a short break. Suddenly a strange look flashes across Minx's face. Her eyes turn jet black and her face contorts into a scream of rage. Before you can react she draws a steel sword and attacks!<br>
[[Continue|fightehr]]Roll a 12 or higher to defeat Minx!<br>
[[ROLL|minxfight]]Roll a 10 or higher to improve your magic skills!<br>
[[ROLL|sworlfdkd]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\
<<if $roll gte 10>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
The two of you dance across the practice field, casting spells and summoning shadow beasts to fight each other. Great job! +1 magic.<br>
[[Continue|aftertrianf]]
<<set $magic += 1>>\
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
You can't seem to shake the off the troubles of the day. Clacktor was a good soldier, and seeing those people killed in the middle of your Great Hall has put a heavy strain on your mind. This practice session was a waste of time.<br>
[[Continue|aftertrianf]]
<</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\
<<if $roll gte 12>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
You try to keep Minx away from you, but she is relentless. She leaps forward like a frenzied jungle cat and attempts to stab you in the throat. You grasp her wrist and snap it like a rotten twig, sending the sword flying away.<br>
[[Continue|aftert97rianf]]
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
<<set $hp -= 3>>\
You try to keep Minx away from you, but she is relentless. She leaps forward like a frenzied jungle cat and attempts to stab you in the throat. You deflect the blow, but suffer a nasty cut on your shoulder. -3 HP. You grasp her wrist and snap it like a rotten twig, sending the sword flying away.<br>
[[Continue|aftert97rianf]]
<</if>>\<<if $hp gte 1>>\
Even with a broken wrist, Minx continues her attack. Horror dawns across your face as you realize you have no choice but to kill her. You break her neck and toss the corpse aside.<br>
[[What the devil is going on today?]]
[[Has everyone in my village gone mad?]]
<<else>>\
You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!
<</if>>\When you enter the Great Hall you find that is filled with a loud commotion. You push your way through the gathered mass of people and spot several servants sitting at the base of your throne. They are speaking with one of the soldiers, who is recording their answers on a piece of parchment.<br>
[[What's going on here?|hodlgih]]
[[Isn't it a little early to be holding court today?|hodlgih]]SERVANT:
It was the pizza cook! I don't know what came over him... We were making pizza just like we do every night, and then suddenly he went nuts! He killed the baker with a candlestick! Why would he do such a thing?<br>
[[He was a chef.]]
[[Not again... that's the third one in 2 days! What the devil is going on here?]]SERVANT:
What?<br>
[[The guy who made our pizza. He was a chef, not a cook.]]Just then you look up and spot the mysterious man from the night before lurking in the shadows. The stranger quickly departs.<br>
[[Follow him silently]]
[[Order your guards to apprehend him]]SERVANT:
I don't think that's the point...<br>
[[I will decide what the point is!]]SERVANT:
Oh... okay.<br>
[[That's the third time this has happened now in 2 days! What the devil is going on here?]]Just then you look up and spot the mysterious man from the night before lurking in the shadows. The stranger quickly departs.<br>
[[Follow him silently]]
[[Order your guards to apprehend him]]You thank the soldier for his help and assure the servants everything will be dealt with properly. You excuse yourself and exit the Great Hall.<br>
[[Continue|folwooig]]The guards immediately spring into action, grabbing the man and dragging him before you. They shove him to his knees. The man glares directly into your eyes. He grins, and you realize he's holding a red capsule between his teeth. Before you can stop him he chomps on it and swallows the deadly venom!<br>
[[Continue|poisned]]You stealthily follow the stranger. He leads you into the village's innermost courtyard. You remain hidden behind one of the nearby huts, watching as the stranger chants the words of a magic spell. The fountain in the center of the village suddenly stops spewing water and a secret passageway beneath is revealed!<br>
[[Continue|intothehs]]The dark figure looks around to make sure no one is watching before descending the staircase. The passageway slowly begins to seal. Quick! Roll an 8 or higher to get inside before it closes.<br>
[[ROLL|sneakyfhh]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\
<<if $roll gte 8>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
You sprint forward and slide inside the secret passageway an instant before it closes! You follow the stranger down a long dark tunnel.<br>
[[Continue|aftertriuuuanf]]
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
<<set $hp -=3>>\
You sprint forward and slide inside the secret passageway, but the door clamps shut on your ankle! - 3 HP.<br>
[[Continue|aftertriuuuanfjk]]
<</if>>\The effects are instantaneous. The man's eyes begin to bleed and he falls to the floor, stone dead. He must have poisoned himself so that you wouldn't find out what he knows! Something is truly amiss here...<br>
[[Continue|womandf]]One of the women in the crowd steps forward.<br>
[[Continue|perusk]]WOMAN:
That man... I saw him last night. In the courtyard. I was afraid to approach him, because he was moving erratically. I thought he might be drunk, but as I watched he spoke a magic word and entered a hidden passageway beneath the fountain!<br>
[[A secret passageway beneath the fountain? I must investigate this.|pasoufhg]]
[[Thank you for telling me this. I will search for this secret passageway.|pasoufhg]]You make your way to the center of town, and sure enough you discover the hidden entrance to a secret passageway beneath the fountain. You head inside and begin to explore.<br>
[[Continue|exploet]]The long tunnel ends in a cellar filled with arcane paintings. A statue of a winged monkey has been set up in the center of the room.<br>
[[Examine the statue|wrisftoolis]]
[[Examine the paintings|wrisftoolis]]The tunnel ends in a cellar filled with arcane paintings. A statue of a winged monkey has been set up in the center of the room. Watching closely, you observe as the man pulls out an intricately designed dagger and slits his wrist.<br>
[[Continue|wristlis]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\
You yelp in pain. The man turns around and spots you! He races down the tunnel as fast as he can. You yank your foot free and hobble after him.<br>
[[Continue|insidemroom]]
<<else>>\
You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!
<</if>>\The tunnel ends in a cellar filled with arcane paintings. A statue of a winged monkey has been set up in the center of the room. The man frantically pulls out an intricately designed dagger and slits his wrist.<br>
[[Continue|wrisftlis]]The stranger pours his blood over the statue. A moment later, the statue's eyes begin to glow. The hooded dude is instantly sucked inside the statue! Suddenly, the statue comes to life. It charges right towards you and attacks!<br>
[[Continue|rdeltig]]Roll a 14 or higher to defeat the statue!<br>
[[Sing in a high pitch with your magical voice and shatter it|sltkjshutg]]
[[Flip it over your head with a cool karate move]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\
<<if $roll gte 14>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
You belt out the worst opera song you can think of in a screechy high voice. The statue explodes into a million pieces!<br>
[[Continue|aftertriuukkkkkuanf]]
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
<<set $hp -=4>>\
The monkey barrels into you! -4 HP.<br>
[[Continue|hpchekrh]]
<</if>>\You continue to hobble forward as the man pours his blood over the statue. A moment later, the statue's eyes begin to glow. The hooded dude is instantly sucked inside the statue! Suddenly, the statue comes to life. It charges right towards you and attacks!<br>
[[Continue|rdeltig]]You can feel a rush of magical energy as soon as you step into the room. Suddenly, the monkey statue comes to life. It charges right towards you and attacks!<br>
[[Continue|rdeltig]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\
<<if $roll gte 14>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
You catch the monkey and flip it over your head! It smashes into a million pieces on the floor.<br>
[[Continue|aftertriuukkkkkuanf]]
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
<<set $hp -=4>>\
The monkey barrels into you! -4 HP.<br>
[[Continue|hpchekrh]]
<</if>>\You gather a few of the stone shards and place them in your satchel. Perhaps someone in town will be able to tell you more about this mysterious stone and how it was able to come to life.<br>
[[Visit the seers|Visit the court wizards]]
[[Visit the shaman]]
<<if $pizza gte 1>>\
[[Eat pizza]]
<</if>>\<<if $hp gte 1>>\
You grab the monkey and flip it over your head! It smashes into a million pieces on the floor.<br>
[[Continue|aftertriuukkkkkuanf]]
<<else>>\
You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!
<</if>>\<<set $hp = 10>>\
<<set $pizza -= 1>>\
Pizza time! HP restored.<br>
<<return "Back">>You make your way to the tower of the seers. They welcome you inside and you sit down to chat. You tell them of your encounter with the monkey while they examine the stone fragments.<br>
[[Continue|youshae]]
<<set $wizin = "SEER">>\You make your way to the shaman's hut. He is brewing a pot of coffee. The shaman offers you a drink and the two of you sit down to chat. You tell him of your encounter with the monkey while the shaman examines the fragments.<br>
[[Continue|youshae]]
<<set $wizin = "SHAMAN">>\$wizin:
A winged monkey, you say? Hmm... I have heard of such things before. In the Far East, the elves worship a powerful monkey deity named Kelmourne. They often offer arcane sacrifices to this wicked deity, including sacrifices of blood. Swearing an oath to Kelmourne is a dangerous thing to do. It always comes with a price.<br>
[[What sort of price?]]
[[Are there any elves in the village?]]$wizin:
When one swears allegiance to Kelmourne, they must swear to bring the god a single soul of the god's choosing. Should they fail to bring Kelmourne the desired soul in the allotted time, they will be consumed by him.<br>
[[Are there any elves in the village?]]$wizin:
Actually, there are three elves in the village at the moment. Zynder is a soldier who has been with your army for nearly a decade. You can probably find him at the training barracks. I doubt that he is behind this, but I suppose anything is possible.<br>
[[Continue|morelieky]]$wizin:
The more likely culprit is the emissary who arrived last night. He is an elf from the Far East, and he claims to have come to discuss taxes and currency exchange. You will find him at the guest house in the center of town.<br>
[[Continue|lskdfug]]$wizin:
And then of course there is Tinkle the hermit who lives just outside of town. He is a reclusive old elf with strange doings, but he may be of some assistance in this matter.<br>
[[I will go to the barracks and speak with Zynder]]
[[I will speak with the Emissary]]
[[I will go find Tinkle]]
<<if $pizza gte 1>>\
[[Eat pizza]]
<</if>>\You saunter over to the guard barracks. When you arrive you find the place in chaos. You push through the throng of battling guardsman and find a grizzly scene before you: one of the guards has gone nuts and murdered Zynder!<br>
[[What happened here!?|yyyys]]
[[You've gotta be kidding me! Not again!|yyyys]]You head to the guest house in the center of town, eager to speak with this foreign emissary. You find several guards standing outside when you arrive. They turn to you with pained expressions on their faces.<br>
[[Why the long faces?|psjggkkg]]
[[What happened? Was there another attack?|psjggkkg]]You travel to the tree the hermit usually lives in, but he is not there. You notice a tiny squirrel skittering around.<br>
[[Talk to the squirrel]]
[[Seek out Zynder]]
[[Speak with the Emissary]]SOLDIER:
It was Captain Quill, sire! He just... snapped. It was like out of nowhere he went crazy. We had to kill him or he would have butchered someone else!<br>
[[Continue|kilekdhg]]At that moment the court wizards arrive.<br>
[[Continue|courtuzoq]]WIZARD:
Pardon my intrusion, your Highness, but I have some information on the bodies of those who went crazy. It seems that the attackers bear the same strange marking upon their shoulders. Brandings or tattoos in the shape of a crimson wing.<br>
[[Check the captain's shoulder! Does he bear a similar marking?]]
[[Crimson wings? What does that represent? Is this some sort of new cult?]]One of the soldiers checks the captain's body and confirms that he does indeed have crimson wings tattooed on his shoulders. The gathered soldiers confer with one another and all agree that they've never noticed that marking before.<br>
[[Crimson wings? What does that represent? Is this some sort of new cult?]]WIZARD:
That I do not know. Perhaps you could consult the scrolls in the library? Or maybe you could pray to the Gods in the Temple of Shergblatt and ask that they reveal to you the meaning of this madness?<br>
[[I will go to the library]]
[[I will go to the temple]]
<<if $pizza gte 1>>\
[[Eat pizza]]
<</if>>\By this time a large crowd of onlookers has gathered around the murder scene. Just then you hear a scream. You look around and spot a Shyfter grasping a woman by the shoulders! The Shyfter's fists burn with magical energy. When the beast releases her, you notice that her shoulders have been branded with crimson wings.<br>
[[Continue|lutndkg]]By this time a large crowd of onlookers has gathered around the murder scene. Just then you hear a scream. You look around and spot a Shyfter grasping a woman by the shoulders! The Shyfter's fists burn with magical energy. When the beast releases her, you notice that her shoulders have been branded with crimson wings.<br>
[[Continue|lutndkg]]SQUIRREL:
You're trying to talk to a squirrel? You must be nuts!<br>
[[Continue|laughti]]You saunter over to the guard barracks. When you arrive you find the place in chaos. You push through the throng of battling guardsman and find a grizzly scene before you: one of the guards has gone nuts and murdered Zynder!<br>
[[What happened here!?|yyyys]]
[[You've gotta be kidding me! Not again!|yyyys]]You head to the guest house in the center of town, eager to speak with this foreign emissary. You find several guards standing outside when you arrive. They turn to you with pained expressions on their faces.<br>
[[Why the long faces?|psjggkkg]]
[[What happened? Was there another attack?|psjggkkg]]The squirrel farts and explodes. What a weird day.<br>
[[Seek out Zynder]]
[[Speak with the Emissary]]GUARD:
My king... there has been another incident. An elvish emissary arrived yesterday to discuss taxes, but it seems that his guard was taken by the madness in the middle of the night. He slaughtered the Emissary and took off! We killed the crazed guardsman, but I fear this could lead to a serious crisis between our tribe and the elves! What are we going to do?<br>
[[Continue|slgjlaksgjlak]]At that moment the court wizards arrive.<br>
[[Continue|courtuzoddq]]WIZARD:
Pardon my intrusion, your Highness, but I have some information on the bodies of those who went crazy. It seems that the attackers bear the same strange marking upon their shoulders. Brandings or tattoos in the shape of crimson wings.<br>
[[Check that guard's shoulder! Does he bear a similar marking?]]
[[Crimson wings? What does that represent? Is this some sort of new cult?]]One of the soldiers checks the dead guard's body and confirms that he does indeed have crimson wings tattooed on his shoulders. The gathered guards confer with one another and all agree that they've never noticed that marking before.<br>
[[Crimson wings? What does that represent? Is this some sort of new cult?]]KELMOURNE:
Filthy peasants! Does no one fear the gods any longer!? I should have impersonated a senator or a praetor. Perhaps then I would have instilled a little fear into these fools! Someone bring me that barbarian's head!<br>
[[Continue|bringhekll]]The Shyfter grows dozens of extra arms and grabs a cluster of nearby peasants, branding each one of them with crimson wings. Their eyes immediately turn jet black. They all look directly at you and attack!<br>
[[Continue|srituklgj4554]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\
<<if $roll gte 14>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
You summon a magical shield around yourself and wade through the mob of possessed peasants. You don't want to injure them if you can help it.<br>
[[Continue|aftertrianfff]]
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
<<set $hp -= 4>>\
The peasants immediately swarm you and start beating you with sticks and pitchforks! -4 HP.<br>
[[Continue|aftertriadffnf]]
<</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\
<<if $roll gte 14>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
You wade through the mob of possessed peasants, blocking every attack using your super secret karate blocks. You don't want to injure them if you can help it.<br>
[[Continue|aftertrianfff]]
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
<<set $hp -= 4>>\
The peasants immediately swarm you and start beating you with sticks and pitchforks! -4 HP.<br>
[[Continue|aftertriadffnjjf]]
<</if>>\You finally reach the Shyfter. You grab him by the throat and hurl him at a nearby rooftop. Summoning a great burst of chi energy, you leap after him and land in a dramatic pose on the roof nearby. You can now battle the Shyfter without fear of injuring any unfortunate peasants.<br>
[[Continue|rojldgkh]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\
You summon a magical shield around yourself and wade through the mob of possessed peasants. You don't want to injure them if you can help it.<br>
[[Continue|aftertrianfff]]
<<else>>\
You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!
<</if>>\<<if $hp gte 1>>\
You wade through the mob of possessed peasants, blocking every attack using your super secret karate blocks. You don't want to injure them if you can help it.<br>
[[Continue|aftertrianfff]]
<<else>>\
You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!
<</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\
<<if $roll gte 15>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
The Shyfter attempts to shoot you with his arm cannon but you dodge out of the way. Using some fancy footwork, you slip inside his guard and snap his arm off. You flick the power button on the laser cannon and incinerate his face.<br>
[[Continue|incinerated]]
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
<<set $hp -= 5>>\
The Shyfter blasts you with his arm cannon! -5 HP.<br>
[[Continue|chekcincf]]
<</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\
<<if $roll gte 15>>\
Your roll: $roll
Success!<br>
The Shyfter attempts to shoot you with his arm cannon but you dodge out of the way. Clapping your hands together, you speak the silliest magic word you can think of and an instant later the Shyfter begins to poop everywhere!<br>
[[Continue|incinerated2]]
<<else>>\
Your roll: $roll
Attempt failed!<br>
<<set $hp -= 5>>\
The Shyfter blasts you with his arm cannon! -5 HP.<br>
[[Continue|chekcincf]]
<</if>>\The Shyfter's corpse fizzles away into a pile of dust. With the false god now dead, the curse has been broken. Looking down at the peasants scattered before you, you witness the life return back to their eyes as the tattoos that had been branded into their skin begin to fade away.<br>
[[Continue|thenendhj]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\
You grit your teeth and pull yourself to your feet. Using the last of your strength, you sprint forward and snap the Shyfter's arm off. You flick the power button on the laser cannon and incinerate his face.<br>
[[Continue|incinerated]]
<<else>>\
You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!
<</if>>\The Shyfter poops so much that his body shrivels up into a tiny husk. The husk catches fire and his corpse fizzles away into a pile of dust.<br>
[[Continue|85udj]]<<if visited("dude")>>\
The villagers look up at you standing on the rooftop as though they were gazing upon the face of a god. You grin stupidly at them, but your hair is blowing dramatically in the wind, so you get a few extra points for looking totally awesome.<br>
[[Continue|lasltkif]]
<<else>>\
The villagers look up at you standing on the rooftop as though they were gazing upon the face of a goddess. You grin stupidly at them, but your hair is blowing dramatically in the wind, so you get a few extra points for looking totally awesome.<br>
[[Continue|lasltkif]]
<</if>>\CONGRATULATIONS! You win.<br>
Thanks for playing!Roll a 15 or higher to defeat the Shyfter!<br>
[[Rip off the Shyfter's laser cannon arm and shoot him with it]]
[[Cast a spell to give the Shyfter diarrhea]]Roll a 14 or higher to defend yourself against the peasants!<br>
[[Encase your body in a magical shield]]
[[Practice the 16 basic body blocks]]The peasants begin to cheer and chant your name. You have saved the day once again, barbarian! You are a true hero, but don't get too complacent... Evil will return in the next thrilling episode of CRYPT SHYFTER!!<br>
[[THE END!]]With the false god now dead, the curse has been broken. Looking down at the peasants scattered before you, you witness the life return back to their eyes as the tattoos that had been branded into their skin begin to fade away.<br>
[[Continue|thenendhj]]<<if $header == 1>>\
<div class="myDiv">\
<span class='no'>\
<div style="text-align: center;">\
<<link "Back">><<run Engine.backward()>><</link>> | <<link "Save">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>> | [[Restart][state.restart()]]
</div>\
</span>\
</div>
<</if>>\<<run UI.restart()>>\
[[Restart][state.restart()]]